Why I Don't Have Facebook

The Logic Against Facebook (and/or social networking)

This is a post on why I don't have Facebook, and why maybe you shouldn't have it  either.

First, my take: I have had Facebook before, around four years ago. I used to go on the site regularly, was a part of many groups, had been tagged in quite a few photos and was approaching 1,000 friends. It was getting to be too much for me to handle, and the social interactions I did get on Facebook were clouded by the flurry of information I was just not interested in. The fact that all of it existed in one place made my genuine efforts at interaction feel shallow and meaningless...and no one is ever their genuine self on Facebook. Why would you be, when you can choose what to share and what not to, knowing that there will be many people viewing your content and forming judgements about you based on what you put up? 

I feel that I am giving myself more value by not joining the social networking sites. If people want to talk to me, they call, text, email, Skype, or now, they can even comment on my blog. And now that I have a blog, I can use it to share any pictures or life updates that people would share on Facebook, without imposing them on every one of my 'friends'. If my friends want to read about my life, they know where to find this blog. If a friend wants to talk or keep in contact with me, we email. And the friends overseas who care about keeping in touch enough to email me, do so without finding issue with it. They know about my views on Facebook, and they can respect that. 

And any one of you out there on the Internet can choose to read this blog regularly or not, the URL will always be there and it's not as if you've got to add me as a friend to see what I write. Although, it's true that "following" this blog would make that easier for you to know when things have been updated, it's not mandatory to do so to read it. And unlike "friending" on Facebook, no offense or suspicion will be incurred from following or not following a blog.

We need to ask ourselves the question: why are we even interested in posting things for potentially hundreds or thousands of people to see? What's the motivation? Are we seeking social validation somehow without any real social interaction or do we have a purpose in mind? (I've written before about the purpose of this blog). 

And if the purpose is solely social validation, or even if there's no motivation at all...well, isn't it a bit pathetic? 

Facebook definitely has a negative side. The facts are all over the Internet: Facebook does not always have a positive effect on people. I just read a couple of news articles, one describing how a fourth of women lie or exaggerate on Facebook about their lives to make themselves seem more interesting and the other about how 18% of teens would be "hermits" if Facebook didn't exist, as in, they wouldn't make any real-life social connections. Facebook has resulted in women feeling the need to lie to look more interesting, and teenagers losing their social skills and potentially never developing them as they should, in their adolescent years. 

Also, envy, misery and loneliness are triggered from viewing others' pictures and updates on Facebook. Even if this doesn't effect you personally, it affects others, maybe even as a result of what you put up for them to see. It's proof of the negative energy generated by social networking.

Here's a list of more negative effects from information provided from the "online dating university":
Stress - of missing important info, status update comments, or having to delete unwanted friends
Worries - about etiquette, people who you want to avoid finding you, and that you may offend friends who hear important news on Facebook rather than in person or by personal message
Pressure - to be interesting, humorous, and entertaining 
Jealousy - of friends and even your partner, as you can see all of their posts, comments, etc.
Relationship Stress - the added decisions due to Facebook relationship status, whether or not you both want to update statuses, and the publicity of relationship issues/breakups


People decline social engagements, and then go home to be on Facebook. In this way social networking actually makes people less social - they can find out about everyone's social life while they just sit at home in front of their computer, rather than actually having to actually converse with them to find out about their life. Many people go on Facebook as an act of procrastination. In this situation they chat and socialize with people at a time they normally wouldn't, they are using this "socialization" to delay doing something else. Excuse the sarcasm, but it sure sounds like genuine social interaction with genuine social motivations will definitely be the result in that situation, huh? 

I will admit that Facebook can be good for businesses, with groups and pages organized on one site that a lot of people spend time on. It can be a good marketing tool. But that is because of all the people who use it and create connections to the business, not because of Facebook itself.

The great American author Mark Twain said, 
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." 

It does not make you interesting or original to be on the side of majority, or in this case, have Facebook. But if you do, do others a favor and try to keep what you post interesting and original. Or better yet, stop seeking virtual social validation and encouraging others to do the same. Stop "stalking" other people's pages and going through all the material they've put out there for people to see. De-clutter your life by letting go of this virtual social reality.