Wednesday, August 14, 2013

How To: Become a Shopaholic

How to become a shopaholic in 10 easy steps:*


1. Buy what you want, whenever you want it, regardless of if you've got the money or not. That's what credit cards are for!

2. Don't think about the consequences of what you buy or whether you'll still want it later, now is what matters, right? Life should be impulsive! Being mindful is for losers.

3. Browse through online shops and go window shopping in town all the time, just to check if the stores you like have anything new that you might discover you want. Try to go as often as possible, during lunch breaks or anytime you're not working, or better yet, work in retail so you can scope out purchases all the time! Never come home empty-handed. Shopping is the solution for everything, whether you're tired, bored, sad, hungry, or happy!

4. Subscribe to fashion, food, or home magazines and newsletters, read fashion and beauty blogs, or cooking or technology blogs, (or whatever you're interested in) to brainstorm new ideas for what you might want to do with your style, home, kitchen, and life in general

5. Keep up to date with politics, innovations, and celebrities - always buy the latest technology and make use of having the internet wherever you are to constantly check your email for subscription updates and browse online stores. You've got to conform with all the trends, have the latest iPhone, and never get behind on what's "in vogue"



6. Research your hobbies and interests, just so you know exactly what equipment the pros and real enthusiasts have, so you can get all the stuff you need to do your activity for real. You're not an artist without the beret, not a fashionista without the clothes, not an electronics or programming genius without the flashy computer, and not a runner without the Nike sneakers!

7. Also, try new hobbies a lot, and don't stick with them for very long after you've bought ALL the stuff for them. Exploring new things is good...and hey, what if you get really good at downhill skiing someday after trying it once on holiday? Those skis may come in handy later, and they look cool too.


8. Make sure to hide all your purchases from friends and family, don't tell anyone about what you buy. Stash unopened things in the closet where no one can see them

9. Be material, be very material. AND, be jealous when other people get new stuff. Stuff makes people happy, much happier than relationships and experiences and traveling does. After all, stuff can be kept and treasured forever!

10. Finally...what's minimalism? A true shopaholic has probably never come across the term, except regarding fashion or design of furniture. If you want to stay a true shopaholic, don't look further into this!


*This is a sarcastic post, I am not advocating that you do any of these things, but maybe some of these steps to becoming a shopaholic apply to you (as they have to me in the past!) and maybe seeing this list will make you smile, realize that happiness can be found in pursuits other than shopping, and help you change your shopping ways!





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