How to Pick Up Girls (or Guys)

Lots of guys and girls seem to be looking for tips on how to ask people out. But the people who are already successful at doing so know that really, it's not that difficult. All it takes is a little confidence, and a lack of caring about what others (and usually, these "others" are strangers) may think about you.

All you have to do to ask someone out is initiate conversation. From there, it's easy. There are factors that increase your rates of success, like:

• being fit, healthy, hygienic and put-together in appearance
• choosing people who aren't already married or in relationships
• finding people with similar interests, age group, goals, looking for the same kind of relationship, etc.

But you'll find that a lot of people are open to conversing and even meeting for a coffee (or other activity) for further interaction if there were mutual interests in the conversation. Found out that you both like theatre? Offer to go see a play together. You both like movies, sports, art, or music? You see where this is going. And these are basic topics that might easily come up in a casual first-time conversation.
Basically, all you have to do is do it. Don't over-think things. Talk to them. Ask. It's that simple. You'll never get better at asking people out if you aren't trying at all.

And if you are already interested in a person you've seen, a good way to get into a conversation is by giving them a compliment - you know that'll already be a mutual interest, because you're talking about them and people like talking about themselves, no matter what they might say to the contrary. Girls (and guys) are likely to be impressed by compliments in a casual setting, as in, NOT at a bar or nightclub under the influence of alcohol, because they'll seem more genuine. Specific, interesting compliments are the best for making people feel you are really interested in them and not generically trying to pick them up. For example "your hair looks really nice," rather than "you're hot."

If that's too forward for you, then another first step to initiate a conversation is to simply make eye contact, and then ask them a question. A popular example of this is "do you have the time?" and these days, it's a good one to use directed at people who are obviously making use of technology. Talking to people should be easy, we're all human after all and people don't usually react badly to simple requests and questions...and usually, people would rather say yes than no.

And this eye contact level is a little
on the creepy side for a first encounter!

Probably don't want to pursue if
they're looking at you with this
expression...

You've all probably been in the situation where you're at a bus stop or on a subway and you catch someone potentially checking you out, or you get caught looking at someone - well use that as a first step to conversation or even flirting, rather than embarrassment! Be confident. Give them a compliment or ask them a simple question. What's the worst that can happen?

Maybe they'll think you're a creep, or not want to talk to you, or say no if you ask them out. Well, seeing as before there was any interaction you were complete strangers, you're not really any worse off. Don't take it personally if they don't want to talk or say no to you, surely you've had times when you've wanted to avoid a conversation or go meet someone, and it's not always to do with the other person. If they don't want to talk to you or go out with you, than it's their loss.


Be proud of being rejected. It just shows that you had the guts to ask in the first place, and trying something and failing is far more noble than never having tried for fear of failure. 

This applies to friendship as well as potential relationships. When you're in a situation like waiting in line or on a train or at an event, take any opportunity to chat with the people around you. You can use things around you to make conversation, or asking them something about themselves works too, like where they're from or what they do for a living.

 I recently had a situation where I was at the library and the lady at the front of the line had what looked like 40 books to check out, she was carrying two bags full. The printing of the check-out receipt took a long time, and I found it funny, so I turned to the man behind me and said "long reading list" and we shared a chuckle. Even doing that felt like a really difficult thing to do, but it shouldn't have been! I'm going to work on it, and I think you should too. (Some people even challenge themselves to talk to a stranger every day!)
And, if I was single (which I'm not) and wanted to take things further with that guy, (and if he'd been several years younger), I could have easily done so by asking "what are you reading?" and the conversation could have progressed from there.

We are all human and therefore we all have some things in common!

Old-fashioned people probably conversed a lot more, with the absence of technology to do it for them!