Unfortunately I hadn't had time to properly prepare for either of them (hopefully my teachers aren't reading this!) due to the university's opera production and lots of rehearsals...and especially in that state of limited preparation it was clear to me which instrument I felt more comfortable on.
I "officially" started playing the violin when I was four years old, but being taught by my father I was learning basically from as soon as I could hold the instrument, and I often heard him practicing as I was falling asleep at night. My father coached me daily and ensured that my basic foundation of playing was very secure, for which I am eternally grateful now. There was a time in my teens when I no longer wanted to play the violin, and was contemplating majoring in English, speech, or languages at university, and becoming a writer...or even, wishfully, an actress. In addition to volleyball, basketball, and track & field, I had done theatre and debating in high school, and been successful especially in debating.
Then my family moved to New Zealand, and for a while I was friendless. As a result, my teenage life had no purpose. Another American girl came along (on a year-long trip with her mother) and we went to school together and had fun for awhile, but alas she, like my other exchange student friends, eventually had to go back home. After she left, I devoted my free time to music. I would practice during the interval and lunch hours at college (high school) in a closet in the music block of the school labelled the "resource room", where speakers and microphones and sheet music gathered dust. Endlessly I toiled at the third movement of Tchaikovsky's violin concerto, which I later got to play solo with the Nelson Symphony. It was here, in this dark, dusty, and uninspiring old room, that I realized that music is something I could never live without...I had spent my entire life under the guidance of someone who lived and breathed it, and whether he knew it or not, he taught me to do the same.
At university I had new teachers for the first time in my life, which has been a good experience as well as being a major adjustment! Even though music school is sometimes frustrating (lack of free practice rooms and the drama and self-absorption of some music students...at times, myself included), I wouldn't be doing anything else. I could never give it up.
After sixteen or so years playing only violin as a serious instrument (and piano for awhile, started that at age five and was somewhat dedicated until I left America) I decided to give the viola a decent chance. I had "dabbled" in the instrument for a few years but had always dismissed it, thinking that I was a violinist and that would not change. But now, as I am taking viola as a second instrument seriously, I have re-evaluated my musical personality. For awhile I didn't know what to do - I didn't know whether I was a violinist or a violist. I was at the crossroads. But several things helped me to decide. Practicing viola is so satisfying, and I can see myself being successful on the viola in the future and loving it. I also really like the supportive, positive, and humorously-witty-without-trying-too-hard nature that a lot of viola players have, and see myself fitting into that category more now. After playing my two assessments (Faure Sonata No. 1, 1st movement on violin, Walton Concerto 1st movement on viola) my body and mind agree that playing the Walton on viola was a much more fulfilling experience, with more of myself put into it than the Faure. They are both phenomenally beautiful works of music. But the rich, mellow sound of the viola makes the tone of the violin sound thin and unsatisfying to my ear. I once heard a quote about putting "a drop of blood into every note" - that is, putting a bit of yourself into each and every note you play. I think the viola is the instrument that allows me to do this more than the violin.
A wise friend once told me that there are three components to love: physical, emotional, and logical. I think this applies to more than love for a person - for me as a tall person, the viola is physically more comfortable to play, evokes more passion in my soul through its tone (and emotional compatibility with other violists - case in point: my boyfriend plays the viola!), and what's more, will offer more job opportunities to me in the future
When you reach life's crossroads, (or are deciding what to study in university, for example) try to think about your decision using those three components. It's so difficult to just think about doing what "feels" right, like so much advice seems to say. If you apply physical, emotional, and logical methods to your decision at least you'll have thought of the outcome in three different ways before deciding. Use visualization as well, and imagine what your future life will be like if you go one way or the other. What changes might there be? What's the best that could happen either way, and what's the worst? Which side of the decision leaves you with better options for your future, and not just the present moment?
Right now, I've got to finish my Bachelor's degree on the violin, which is a bit frustrating now, but may come in handy later in proving that I can play violin too. However, I will be happy when I can take a break from violin though, and really devote myself to the viola...and maybe buying a good viola of my own. (I'm currently borrowing both a violin and a viola.) The best part about being a violist is, I can still play Paganini, and it'll be all the more impressive because it'll be on a viola! And, his "Sonata per la Gran Viola" is absolutely beautiful.
No comments:
Post a Comment