Comprehension of Humanity

As I looked out of my bathroom window this morning, something struck me, something I had always known as a fact but only fully realize in certain moments, like this.

I live in a city.

A city full of tall buildings and lots of people all doing their own thing. I never feel it though. It doesn't feel as if Wellington is "bustling with life" and full of business-people, but the many tall buildings say otherwise. Though they appear solid and still, they are not empty, and there is movement within their quiet exteriors.

Who are these people who work and live in the tall buildings, the self-contained little environments of so-called productivity? We are all small parts of machinery that make up the whole of the planet, each adding our own energy and producing our own waste. I don't think humans have the ability to comprehend how many of us there are currently in existence, and how insignificant each of us is as an individual. And even if we could, we still don't know to what end we are working. Or in other words, we just don't know the purpose of our existence.

I don't like thinking about it much, probably not many people do. I guess there can be a satisfaction in knowing that you don't have an impact. A certain peace can come from that knowledge, I guess...the thought that you simply spend your allotted time on Earth, and then depart to do who-knows-what-next. But that peace isn't there for me, not yet at least.

From The Theatre...The Price, by Arthur Miller

I saw another play on Friday night. It was at 8pm, meaning it would end quite late as it was about two hours long (plus an interval on top of that) and it was horrible weather, freezing cold and wet. Having to walk to and from the venue was a bit of an unpleasant inconvenience in those conditions. However, this play was definitely worth it all.

The Price is a play by Arthur Miller. He is also author of other famous works that I had heard of, like Death of a Salesman and The Crucible. The programme notes describe it as "a classic tale of a house divided, which addresses his [Arthur Miller's] concerns of illusion, denial and betrayal."

I guess that due to my youth I haven't yet come across many "classic tales of a house divided," and certainly none that have moved me as much as this performance. As far as the play goes, it was a work of not much plot and very good acting, just the way I like my plays best. The actors played their parts so well that it felt as if the audience was intruding on a very personal family scene, seeing arguments and "dirty laundry" that we weren't meant to see - that nobody was meant to see.

Explaining it all might be a bit confusing, but I will try! The play has four characters, brothers Victor (Gavin Rutherford) and Walter Franz (Christopher Brougham), Victor's wife Esther (Jude Gibson), and an old man, Gregory Solomon (Ray Henwood) who used to work giving appraisals and selling furniture. Victor and Walter have inherited their family's  possessions, and Victor has called the old man, (who is almost 90) to give an appraisal and buy the whole houseful of furniture. Victor and Walter haven't spoken in years, however, (although Victor called Walter recently about the matter of selling the furniture, to no response) so Victor and Esther begin doing this on their own.

The set conveyed a very detailed, old-fashioned and cluttered atmosphere, of old memories and old treasures (or junk!) and there was only that one room serving as the set of the entire play.

The old man (who although retired, has responded to Victor's call) is about to buy the furniture from Victor when a spanner is thrown into the works and Walter stops by to visit. Victor works as a policeman, but has always dreamed of doing science. Walter has lived out Victor's dream and is a successful doctor. Family life has been very difficult for them, as Victor felt he sacrificed his life joining the police force to support his father after his mother died, while Walter went off to finish studying science. It comes out that their father may not have needed the help Victor believed, and that Walter had always known this.

As expected this brings up many painful memories and fiery disagreement between the brothers. Esther has to cope with her inner conflicts too, as she has had a very hard time through life with their financial hardship. And even though Walter has come with good intentions (offering Victor an administration job where he works and offering to give Victor a very large sum of money for the furniture, which they could get by using it as a charity donation on Walter's taxes) Victor is unwilling, or unable, to change the way he thinks, and they leave on very unresolved terms. Eventually Victor accepts the old man's cash offer for the furniture and he and Esther leave to go to the cinema as they had previously planned. The play concludes with the old man Solomon sitting in an old chair, playing a "laughing record"(that Walter had played right at the beginning of the play before the other characters entered) and laughing along hysterically.

The actors were all superb, and I especially enjoyed Ray Henwood's performance as Solomon, the old man. He was probably the most convincing as an American to me, and portraying a Jewish New Yorker no less. The other actors I felt sometimes had little slips in their accents, sometimes using the stereotypical New York inflections and other times using more general American inflections, but their portrayals of the characters, the smooth flow of the dialogue, and the palpable emotional tension more than rectified the tiny details of speech and accent. And I've never lived in New York either, so it's not as if I have the best basis for comparison.

It's one of those plays that makes you think about life, and what really matters, and how easily things can be forgotten, even if they are life-changing...because really they have to be forgotten or life will never go on.

Speaking of forgotten though, I really need to stop going to plays (and other events) set in New York City, or America, it makes me really want to live there. To go back home (if it is home anymore). Unfortunately, I can't forget how uncomfortable and how not-at-home I feel here in New Zealand. So I got some Hershey's Kisses on the way home, giving in to a little bit of nostalgia at 11pm. (And Solomon mentioning a Hershey's bar in the play did have a part in igniting the craving for American chocolate!) I don't think I like the word "nostalgic" very much, it sounds quite stuffy, old, and undesirable. But I do find it applicable in a lot of my life and I feel it a lot, just as I did as I unwrapped the gold foil on these kisses, savoring a little taste of my old home.

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Sesame Street: Me Want It (But Me Wait)...Appropriate?

And as a follow-up to my chocolate chip cookies post, here's a video of the biggest chocolate chip cookie fan ever:





I'm not sure how appropriate this is for children (the target audience of Sesame Street) to be watching, what with talking about cookies almost like sexual objects of desire (Cookie Monster does have a one-track mind), with the background of club music and puppet dancing, not to mention extremely bad grammar, which is repeated a LOT (me want it!?)...but I guess times are changing, and it does have a good message, teaching kids and grownups alike the importance of "#controlmeself", (or delayed gratification).

And even with all the sexual vibes of the words, Cookie Monster is too cute and fuzzy to transmit any serious questionable intentions...I think!

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Chocolate Chip Cookies!

Today was a day of cold, awful weather and piano teaching. (Somehow, the two always seem to go together.) When I got home in the early afternoon, it was time for some lunch. So, I made cookies!

I did have actual lunch too, in the form of a protein-shake, which is something that I've recently decided to try. I shook up some protein powder (chocolate flavored) and half a can of coconut milk in my chilled shaker - I think I'll add some honey next time, and MCT oil too (which I've already mentioned here), even though this was pretty tasty and filling by itself.

One of my goals during this two-week period of holidays from university is to clean and de-clutter my space, and I have a few things in the pantry to use up. Some of these things (brown sugar, flour) just happen to be cookie ingredients, and the fact that chocolate chip cookies are my favorite dessert ever meant that these just had to happen. I might have to make a cake next week as well to use up the rest of my ingredients too...

To make these, I used my favorite recipe ever, from David Lebovitz's Great Book of Chocolate, which was given to me from my friend from Vermont in a package from America. I've loved every recipe in the book that I've tried! The recipe for these cookies can be found online here at the Smitten Kitchen, which is incidentally one of my favorite food blogs ever. I had to modify the recipe a bit because I didn't have any white sugar and wasn't going to buy any (since the aim was to use up ingredients!) and also I omitted the nuts. So consequently, the texture was a little bit different, but of course that was expected because the type of sugar you use does influence the final texture of your cookies. And they were still delicious - can't go too wrong with classic chocolate chip cookies.

A few pictures of the process (and results!):

Mixing dough - made the typical mistake of starting off with a too-small bowl (pictured above) and having to transfer to a larger one after making a mess!

Formed and ready for baking

Spreading out in the oven!

Delicious final product

Lunch is served....

Golden, crisp, chewy and chocolatey!

Do you have a favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe, or baking/cooking blog that you like to read?

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TOMS Wrap Boots

I seem to have a thing for red boots, even my pair of real leather boots has a reddish tinge. I got these wrap boots last year and they're still going strong, in great condition. They do take a little while to get on and off but they are so comfortable and I have gotten many compliments on them and their unique-ness (some have said they are like ninja shoes!). I'm glad I got them before they were discontinued, but I'm really liking the design of the other boots and shoes TOMS is coming out with, and of course their simple, original design. (Not that I'm planning on buying any more shoes, still on my quest for wardrobe minimalism). These boots can be wrapped high or low to make calf-length or ankle boots. The promotional video can be found on Youtube so you can see what I mean properly if you're interested. These were apparently inspired from leg wraps used on racing horses.

Lately I've been reading about how TOMS doesn't actually help people as much as we consumers are led to believe by their marketing. Kelsey Timmerman writes here about how the "One for One" policy TOMS has of donating a pair of shoes to countries in need for every pair bought is ineffective. (And also points out that TOMS shoes are still made in China, NOT the US!) It's the give a man a fish vs. teaching him to fish scenario, where you either have a very temporary solution or a lifetime one. The other thing is that most people in third-world countries do have access to shoes, but may not have the means to buy them. So simply giving them a pair of shoes doesn't solve the real problem.

However if nothing else, TOMS as a brand does spread some awareness about the poverty and difficulties some people face every day. Their advertising spreads a message to a wide audience of people, even if the truth of their results is less beneficial than it's made out to be. They also have "One Day Without Shoes" campaigns to raise awareness, with the idea that people experience what it's like to go barefoot, because some people don't have a choice. Although I can't understand how it's such a big deal going barefoot in first-world countries, on smooth pavement and indoors, and I myself often choose to go barefoot, actually. (Firstly it's more common in NZ, and secondly, I'm also into barefoot running.)

But anyway they definitely make helping people in need a feature of their marketing and I'm sure they intend for customers to buy their shoes because they can feel good about helping someone.

If you buy TOMS shoes, do so because you actually like their designs as a part of your personal style, rather than doing it to make a lasting change in someone's life - because chances are, you aren't going to do that by buying a pair of shoes.

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How to Pick Up Girls (or Guys)

Lots of guys and girls seem to be looking for tips on how to ask people out. But the people who are already successful at doing so know that really, it's not that difficult. All it takes is a little confidence, and a lack of caring about what others (and usually, these "others" are strangers) may think about you.

All you have to do to ask someone out is initiate conversation. From there, it's easy. There are factors that increase your rates of success, like:

• being fit, healthy, hygienic and put-together in appearance
• choosing people who aren't already married or in relationships
• finding people with similar interests, age group, goals, looking for the same kind of relationship, etc.

But you'll find that a lot of people are open to conversing and even meeting for a coffee (or other activity) for further interaction if there were mutual interests in the conversation. Found out that you both like theatre? Offer to go see a play together. You both like movies, sports, art, or music? You see where this is going. And these are basic topics that might easily come up in a casual first-time conversation.
Basically, all you have to do is do it. Don't over-think things. Talk to them. Ask. It's that simple. You'll never get better at asking people out if you aren't trying at all.

And if you are already interested in a person you've seen, a good way to get into a conversation is by giving them a compliment - you know that'll already be a mutual interest, because you're talking about them and people like talking about themselves, no matter what they might say to the contrary. Girls (and guys) are likely to be impressed by compliments in a casual setting, as in, NOT at a bar or nightclub under the influence of alcohol, because they'll seem more genuine. Specific, interesting compliments are the best for making people feel you are really interested in them and not generically trying to pick them up. For example "your hair looks really nice," rather than "you're hot."

If that's too forward for you, then another first step to initiate a conversation is to simply make eye contact, and then ask them a question. A popular example of this is "do you have the time?" and these days, it's a good one to use directed at people who are obviously making use of technology. Talking to people should be easy, we're all human after all and people don't usually react badly to simple requests and questions...and usually, people would rather say yes than no.

And this eye contact level is a little
on the creepy side for a first encounter!

Probably don't want to pursue if
they're looking at you with this
expression...

You've all probably been in the situation where you're at a bus stop or on a subway and you catch someone potentially checking you out, or you get caught looking at someone - well use that as a first step to conversation or even flirting, rather than embarrassment! Be confident. Give them a compliment or ask them a simple question. What's the worst that can happen?

Maybe they'll think you're a creep, or not want to talk to you, or say no if you ask them out. Well, seeing as before there was any interaction you were complete strangers, you're not really any worse off. Don't take it personally if they don't want to talk or say no to you, surely you've had times when you've wanted to avoid a conversation or go meet someone, and it's not always to do with the other person. If they don't want to talk to you or go out with you, than it's their loss.


Be proud of being rejected. It just shows that you had the guts to ask in the first place, and trying something and failing is far more noble than never having tried for fear of failure. 

This applies to friendship as well as potential relationships. When you're in a situation like waiting in line or on a train or at an event, take any opportunity to chat with the people around you. You can use things around you to make conversation, or asking them something about themselves works too, like where they're from or what they do for a living.

 I recently had a situation where I was at the library and the lady at the front of the line had what looked like 40 books to check out, she was carrying two bags full. The printing of the check-out receipt took a long time, and I found it funny, so I turned to the man behind me and said "long reading list" and we shared a chuckle. Even doing that felt like a really difficult thing to do, but it shouldn't have been! I'm going to work on it, and I think you should too. (Some people even challenge themselves to talk to a stranger every day!)
And, if I was single (which I'm not) and wanted to take things further with that guy, (and if he'd been several years younger), I could have easily done so by asking "what are you reading?" and the conversation could have progressed from there.

We are all human and therefore we all have some things in common!

Old-fashioned people probably conversed a lot more, with the absence of technology to do it for them!

Theatresports as Life

Theatre exterior on a very gray day

On Sunday night I went to a show at Circa Theatre, on the Wellington Waterfront. It wasn't technically a "show" though, but rather, Theatresports Freestyle, which was a comedy competition between two teams of improv actors. My response to the evening's entertainment: it was really awesome! Marvelous, even. Lots of laughs and great audience participation - we got to choose the winning team!

The two teams were just splendid to watch, with great interaction and character interplay. They responded to each other really well and were very quick on the uptake (most of the time!) to each others' new ideas and new characters. Theatresports is where acting is literally reacting.

It got me thinking: this is how real life should be! People should approach life with a comical (or at the very least good-humored) nature and try to respond positively to other people's ideas, with the idea of adding to and enhancing their value rather than dismissing or putting them down.

Even though not all of us are trained to be actors, we are all our own characters in the story of the world. We have the power to change how our character reacts, what our character does, and how our character approaches new situations. Even though we don't have a sit-down audience, we have the audience of our peers, colleagues, friends, family, and everyone we know. Let's put on a good show.

(P.S. If you're reading this in Wellington, NZ, there are still 7 more weeks of Theatresports Freestyle shows that you can - and should - attend!)