Sunday, September 22, 2013

The #1 Secret to Making Others Jealous

Titian - Miracle of the Jealous Husband
Jealousy and envy are strange emotions, sometimes barely there and sometimes all-consuming. Some people take a petty satisfaction in actually making people feel envy and jealousy, and other people unknowingly make people this way. It is an emotion every human being needs to learn to recognize and overcome.

With a little bit of thought, you will discover the real reason jealousy or envy occurs, and how you can make yourself more immune. In reality, jealousy, like all emotions, is more about you and what's going on in your head than what anyone else has done. Ask yourself these questions: Why do people feel envious of people with new cars, fancy gadgets, clothes, jewelry, etc? Why do people feel jealous of friends who get more social invites or people in happy relationships?

These people have great stuff, so they must be happy with what they've got, right? And if we had what they have, then we'd be happy like them. Without their stuff, we can't be as happy as they are.

Or can we?

That, my friends, is the #1 secret to making others jealous. Be happy. Even if you're not genuinely feeling happy, act as if you are and people will treat you more positively. Obviously you will still encounter negative people and grumpy bus drivers (for example) but don't let these people become obstacles to your own happiness.

Good things happen to happy people. Positive people (or even people who just act positive) are the people who get the most opportunities, because people want to work and interact with positive people. Makes sense, right? So go out there, do things that make you happy, let go of the things that don't make you happy, and don't start imagining that people with more stuff are better or more fulfilled than you are - as long as you are happy in life, they've got nothing on you.


Product Reviews, Hauls

There have been a few times I've started to write a product review for an everyday item on this blog, and every time I hesitate or falter. I have saved drafts of these things that I don't think will ever be published. Maybe it means this blog won't be as popular as those that do lots of product reviews and hauls, but I'm okay with that.

Even though I know reviews of things can be helpful, and lots of people really enjoy reading or watching videos about shopping "hauls", really it's very consumerist, and I'm not comfortable promoting consumerism as widely as that. I'm not interested in keeping the cycle of buying things going.

I do want to promote brands I like and can stand behind the policies or ideas of, like the products I've reviewed already from Seamly.co and Toms shoes, and products that have helped me achieve a specific goal (like my water bottle and drinking water). I have recently gotten into Lush products for body cleansing and moisturizing, so I may talk about some of those. Also, I find recipes and food items easier to write about and promote, as they are "consumable" items and not possessions to hoard.

People also do "Hauls" on things, and do posts or videos on what they've bought recently. Reading about what other people have bought, especially if it's a huge amount of stuff, is almost a kind of validation for the things you buy yourself. "Well, I don't buy as much as that girl, so I'm not as much of a shopaholic" or whatever. It's not that I don't buy frivolous things myself, but it's just not productive to see what other people have bought unless you're looking to buy things you didn't even know you wanted or needed. This is a habit we should be working to get rid of, not encouraging! You shouldn't be jealous of someone who has a lot of stuff - it's not objects that create happiness, so really there's nothing to be jealous of - you can be just as happy without an excess of stuff.

Think about practicing delayed gratification - remember, wanting things is more pleasurable than actually buying them, and experiences will always hold more personal value than stuff. So start up a savings goal for a trip to a foreign country, go see a few shows or sports games or concerts instead of buying stuff (but you can still leave that stuff on the "want" list), and fill your life with more meaning.


Tuesday, September 17, 2013

The Price of Service (and Musical Events Update)

It feels like it's been awhile since I last posted! Things have been catching up with me (German assignments, practicing music, an orchestral audition, discovering the store Lush, and life in general...) and I haven't really had the drive to actually finish one of the ridiculous amount of posts I have half-completed.

I have been to a couple of events since the last one I wrote about, and have reviewed these on my musical blog as they were an opera and a couple of chamber music concerts. So, if you're in Wellington and musically inclined, or just interested, you can read about them there.

Otherwise, just a quick note to remind everyone (and myself!) that I haven't quit blogging, and also have a bit of a muse about eating out, and the price of service.

Before my audition on Monday night (not yesterday but a week ago yesterday!) I went out for Thai food at Aroy's, a less-fancy and therefore cheaper Thai restaurant. As you can see despite the blurriness of the photo,  the seating was of the hard, plastic, uncomfortable variety and although the food was brought out to your table, there were no "waiters" as such who you could call on to bring water or other needs. The menu was just on the wall behind the ordering counter, and prices were around $10-12 for main meals.


As with any restaurant, it has hits and misses on their menu. From my experience though, there are more successes than failures here. Pictured below are our two "starters", the roti with peanut sauce and curry puffs with chili sauce. The curry puffs I'd pass on, I mean they're "all right if you like that sort of thing" as my dad and brother like to evasively answer, but the thick, pasty filling wasn't to my taste. the roti though was much better than it looks, and the peanut sauce was excellent. I'm a big fan of roti and naan breads, and this stuff was surprisingly good.


For mains we ordered Pad Thai and a fish curry. Pad Thai is a favorite of mine, and although the stuff I've had is undoubtedly not as authentic as the real thing, I've never really had Pad Thai that I haven't enjoyed! The portion sizes here are generous, especially for noodles, and I had enough from my order to provide me with a decent lunch for the next day as well. I had a taste of the fish curry as well, which was delicious, and had vegetables and pineapple along with the fish, and the dish had rice included (rather than ordered separately for an extra cost) which was nice.

Fish curry

Pad Thai - chicken

Leftovers!
The dinner got me thinking about how little this food differed from other Thai I've had in the past, at more expensive restaurants. The difference between this and the expensive places was mainly in the service - at the other places, tables were more comfortable, the ambiance was more thought-out (with things like fish tanks and themed silverware), menus and water were brought to the table, and waiters came to check how things were going and offer a dessert menu at the end of the meal.

Is the added cost of the food at these places worth the price of the service? Of course when you're talking about comparing McDonald's food to a restaurant hamburger and fries then that's a different story, but the food comparison here was much narrower. If all you really want is a good meal then it would be in your interests to have more places like Aroy's, cheaper prices for good food without the extra service, and still no dishes to do afterwards. 

But obviously, an interesting atmosphere and good service is part of the reason to eat out. It's also why Mongolian grills and sushi trains exist, because it's a feast of fun for the other senses in addition to taste. It's all part of the experience. And even if a restaurant is charging more for atmosphere and service rather than the actual food you're getting, paying for the experience of eating food there is better than buying more stuff to hoard in any case.

Finally, for another interesting experience I had recently - this is a juice I was treated to at a cafe awhile ago (in addition to a delicious chicken cannelloni for lunch) - called "Chia". It's blueberry and apple flavored, this stuff has seeds in it! Lots of them...it kind of looks like frogspawn, and it was a bit weird to be able to chew a beverage, but it was still pretty tasty and definitely out of the ordinary. I would have it again if I saw it around. This stuff was made in Nelson according to the bottle, which is where I first lived (and finished high school) when my family moved to NZ. And it's supposed to be very healthy...haven't researched into this, but chia seems to be growing in popularity due to its supposed health benefits.


The juice of a new experience...

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Cooking and Baking, and Carrot Cake

I used to be a huge cooking and baking fan (well, still am!). I would obsessively follow food blogs (still read quite a few) and copy down literally hundreds of recipes the old fashioned way, by hand, onto index cards...crazy, I know. I remember having multiple attempts at trying to create the perfect, and so elusive, French macaron, and being ecstatic when I finally had a batch came out with feet! (Not to be confused with macaroons, the coconutty cookies). And in high school, rather than going out with friends on the weekends (because after my Vermont friend left I no longer had any) I would choose a country and make "ethnic" meals for my family on Saturday nights. To the frustration of my family, sometimes this took longer than anticipated as I would often try to make everything from scratch, as in, if I was making tacos or enchiladas, I would make the tortillas as well.

Now, I'm at university and don't have time to cook and bake, or money to buy ingredients all the time. Yes, it is usually cheaper to bake than to buy the same number of cookies or a gourmet cake, but in reality I don't want a whole batch of cookies or a whole cake to myself, even if over the space of a week or so. So practicality demands that I buy single pre-made cookies and baked goods, usually of inferior quality, but they're enough to satisfy a craving.

I do really miss baking sometimes, and the smells of warm vanilla and caramelized sugar wafting from the oven. I miss cooking new and interesting dishes, and experimenting with different flavors. And now, I do wish I'd gotten pictures of some of my more impressive creations, like the finally successful macarons, mille-fueilles, chocolate truffle tartelettes (which I had to do gluten-free for an uncle of mine!), and strawberry-vanilla floating islands, complete with fluffy homemade marshmallow. But right now, I really just wanted to bake a simple carrot cake, with cream cheese icing. (Well by "wanted to" I really mean that it makes use of the carrots and icing sugar that have been sitting around for far too long and cluttering up my fridge/pantry.)


Carrot cake honestly isn't really my thing - or, not my "cake of choice" so to speak. Although upon eating it I do find it delicious, but I probably wouldn't choose to make it if I didn't have carrots that needed using up, and I definitely wouldn't choose to make it without cream cheese icing, king of all cake icings. This is the best simple carrot cake recipe I've come across, it's one I got from my aunt. It makes a small round cake, with a not-too-heavy texture and slightly spiced flavor. (Recipe included below).


I made these peanut butter and chocolate chip buttons too, inspired by 17andbaking, to use up some peanut butter and sugar. Didn't use the same peanut butter cookie recipe, (and kind of made up my own, really) and the texture of mine was very light and crisp, not your typical peanut butter cookie but still tasty.

It's easy to be a good cook or baker. Really. You've just got to approach it with the right mindset - which is, that it's very difficult to ruin food. If you've got some chicken breast or something all you have to do is put it in a pan and watch and cook it until it's done, and you've got something palatable. Maybe not very interesting, but still good to eat. Add a little salt, spices, butter, lemon juice, or herbs to that chicken as it cooks, and you've got something flavorful and delicious. If you're looking to bake cookies or a cake all you have to do is mix butter, sugar, egg, and flour together in the right proportions, which you can learn by following simple recipes. The carrot cake I made was even slightly adapted from the "real recipe" as I didn't want to buy a banana, and I used different amounts of spices, so I used different things instead. Everyone has their mistakes and things that haven't turned out well - don't let a few "failures" make you think you're a bad cook!

(Unless you're masquerading as a bad cook just to get others to cook for you, in which case it's a shame you don't enjoy the art-form that is food preparation, and the satisfaction of eating your own creations!)

P.S. And the ingredients/basic recipe for the carrot cake:


Grandma Brown’s Carrot Cake

2 eggs
¼ c. oil
½ c. sugar
½ tsp. mixed spice
½ tsp. vanilla
½ tsp. salt
1 ½ c. grated carrot
1 banana, mashed
1 c. flour
1 tsp. baking powder
½ tsp baking soda

1.     Mix dry ingredients (last 3).
2.     Pre-heat oven to 150 degrees C (300 degrees F). Beat together first 6 ingredients and add carrot and banana.
3.     Combine with dry ingredients.
4.     Bake for 20-30 minutes.



Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Comprehension of Humanity

As I looked out of my bathroom window this morning, something struck me, something I had always known as a fact but only fully realize in certain moments, like this.

I live in a city.



A city full of tall buildings and lots of people all doing their own thing. I never feel it though. It doesn't feel as if Wellington is "bustling with life" and full of business-people, but the many tall buildings say otherwise. Though they appear solid and still, they are not empty, and there is movement within their quiet exteriors.

Who are these people who work and live in the tall buildings, the self-contained little environments of so-called productivity? We are all small parts of machinery that make up the whole of the planet, each adding our own energy and producing our own waste. I don't think humans have the ability to comprehend how many of us there are currently in existence, and how insignificant each of us is as an individual. And even if we could, we still don't know to what end we are working. Or in other words, we just don't know the purpose of our existence.

I don't like thinking about it much, probably not many people do. I guess there can be a satisfaction in knowing that you don't have an impact. A certain peace can come from that knowledge, I guess...the thought that you simply spend your allotted time on Earth, and then depart to do who-knows-what-next. But that peace isn't there for me, not yet at least.


Sunday, September 1, 2013

From The Theatre...The Price, by Arthur Miller

I saw another play on Friday night. It was at 8pm, meaning it would end quite late as it was about two hours long (plus an interval on top of that) and it was horrible weather, freezing cold and wet. Having to walk to and from the venue was a bit of an unpleasant inconvenience in those conditions. However, this play was definitely worth it all.


The Price is a play by Arthur Miller. He is also author of other famous works that I had heard of, like Death of a Salesman and The Crucible. The programme notes describe it as "a classic tale of a house divided, which addresses his [Arthur Miller's] concerns of illusion, denial and betrayal."

I guess that due to my youth I haven't yet come across many "classic tales of a house divided," and certainly none that have moved me as much as this performance. As far as the play goes, it was a work of not much plot and very good acting, just the way I like my plays best. The actors played their parts so well that it felt as if the audience was intruding on a very personal family scene, seeing arguments and "dirty laundry" that we weren't meant to see - that nobody was meant to see.

Explaining it all might be a bit confusing, but I will try! The play has four characters, brothers Victor (Gavin Rutherford) and Walter Franz (Christopher Brougham), Victor's wife Esther (Jude Gibson), and an old man, Gregory Solomon (Ray Henwood) who used to work giving appraisals and selling furniture. Victor and Walter have inherited their family's  possessions, and Victor has called the old man, (who is almost 90) to give an appraisal and buy the whole houseful of furniture. Victor and Walter haven't spoken in years, however, (although Victor called Walter recently about the matter of selling the furniture, to no response) so Victor and Esther begin doing this on their own.

The set conveyed a very detailed, old-fashioned and cluttered atmosphere, of old memories and old treasures (or junk!) and there was only that one room serving as the set of the entire play.

The old man (who although retired, has responded to Victor's call) is about to buy the furniture from Victor when a spanner is thrown into the works and Walter stops by to visit. Victor works as a policeman, but has always dreamed of doing science. Walter has lived out Victor's dream and is a successful doctor. Family life has been very difficult for them, as Victor felt he sacrificed his life joining the police force to support his father after his mother died, while Walter went off to finish studying science. It comes out that their father may not have needed the help Victor believed, and that Walter had always known this.

As expected this brings up many painful memories and fiery disagreement between the brothers. Esther has to cope with her inner conflicts too, as she has had a very hard time through life with their financial hardship. And even though Walter has come with good intentions (offering Victor an administration job where he works and offering to give Victor a very large sum of money for the furniture, which they could get by using it as a charity donation on Walter's taxes) Victor is unwilling, or unable, to change the way he thinks, and they leave on very unresolved terms. Eventually Victor accepts the old man's cash offer for the furniture and he and Esther leave to go to the cinema as they had previously planned. The play concludes with the old man Solomon sitting in an old chair, playing a "laughing record"(that Walter had played right at the beginning of the play before the other characters entered) and laughing along hysterically.

The actors were all superb, and I especially enjoyed Ray Henwood's performance as Solomon, the old man. He was probably the most convincing as an American to me, and portraying a Jewish New Yorker no less. The other actors I felt sometimes had little slips in their accents, sometimes using the stereotypical New York inflections and other times using more general American inflections, but their portrayals of the characters, the smooth flow of the dialogue, and the palpable emotional tension more than rectified the tiny details of speech and accent. And I've never lived in New York either, so it's not as if I have the best basis for comparison.

It's one of those plays that makes you think about life, and what really matters, and how easily things can be forgotten, even if they are life-changing...because really they have to be forgotten or life will never go on.

Speaking of forgotten though, I really need to stop going to plays (and other events) set in New York City, or America, it makes me really want to live there. To go back home (if it is home anymore). Unfortunately, I can't forget how uncomfortable and how not-at-home I feel here in New Zealand. So I got some Hershey's Kisses on the way home, giving in to a little bit of nostalgia at 11pm. (And Solomon mentioning a Hershey's bar in the play did have a part in igniting the craving for American chocolate!) I don't think I like the word "nostalgic" very much, it sounds quite stuffy, old, and undesirable. But I do find it applicable in a lot of my life and I feel it a lot, just as I did as I unwrapped the gold foil on these kisses, savoring a little taste of my old home.



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